The Days Are Just Packed

On Tuesday night we met Matheus. This was good both from the point of view of seeing him for the first time in ages but also for providing a distraction from the following day. We had dinner in Browns and Harriet was on top form and very communicative. It seems like only yesterday that Matheus and I were PhD students at King's and his son was born.

The next day was the day J finally went into hospital. It's been a very long road of going for test after test, none of which showed any definitive cause for the pain he has had in both arms (not in itself a bad thing and he has had a full MRI that came back clear which is nice to have). Finally his surgeon and he decided to go for the option that had always seemed the most likely - an operation to re-site the nerve.

This could not come at a worse time frankly. We want to move continents and start surrogacy again. Our current accommodation in London is fine but hardly ideal for our family and I am working extremely long hours (the main problem with the current house is that the playroom is open-plan onto the kitchen and the baby-fencing we have used to keep her in is no longer safe because she can climb over it).

The good bit of news was that his sister was coming later on Tuesday. There is a sense of urgency in seeing people because of the New York move so it was a good thing in and of itself to see Cathy, particularly because an earlier trip this year had to be cancelled because of car problems. She was going to be invaluable not just as cook, cleaner, baby sitter and dog walker but also she is one of the few people J will actually listen to when being told to rest.

The day came and we left for the hopsital at 6.30am so we could be the first one there. It seemed to pay off because he was taken in quickly. I wandered into Harlow to find some breakfast - the place has never looked so bleak as it did then. The 1950s design for the centre is grim and although on a busy Saturday it feels a bit more alive, at that time it felt like the set of some B-movie with the zombies just about to spring out.

I tried to kill time but there is only so much time I could sit in MacDonalds so I went back to the hospital and just waited in the room. I heard a few people complaining about how long it was taking and I heard the name of J's surgeon as being the slow one. I prepared myself for a long wait but actually at 1230 he called me himself to tell me to bring the car to pick him up. It turned out that the reason for the delay was J's operation had taken 2 hours.

He was hugely relieved to be back home and see Harriet. To be fair she did acknowledge him before returning to the important task that was fully absorbing her at that time.

Time will tell if the operation was successful but the initial signs are positive. It is immobilised at an angle and yet he can still feel his fingers, which he cannot do with the other arm that is yet to be operated on.

Cathy and the boys have been a great boon and we ate very well. They took the dogs out every day and it must have been some relief for Billy to have some company. Their dog is so tall that he makes Billy look quite dainty. Friday night is pizza night and Sarah Cowls came round early to enjoy more Harriet time.

It was a full house but on Saturday morning we were back to just three of us. The real test that is coming is Monday.

As for the New York move we are now fully engaged with the immigration lawyers. I have been photocopying and emailing all my certificates and filling out lots of forms. It is not a time for modesty - I have specific instructions to sell myself, which is a bit tricky for someone so naturally modest but I just had to ask the question "What would an American say?" and it all starts to flow.

Once we have a date at the embassy things will really start to feel like they're happening.

So a hard week ahead most likely but my parents are coming on Friday to have some Harriet time so there is good news at the end of the week. We just have to keep going and hopefully in no time at all we will be looking at the Empire State building and dealing with a very different set of doctors and lawyers.

New York

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful. I can't go into too much detail about it because it is an internal CS matter but suffice to say it was a major exercise we had been gearing up to all year. The difficulty for me came from the fact that whereas I was originally supposed to play a peripheral role the focus was changed the week before to bring my group much more into the spotlight. In one meeting I was originally expected to speak for one hour at the end of a three hour session but in fact I became the main event in a four hour slog and had to attend virtually all the meetings anyway.

I have been sleeping extremely badly and even started to come out in spots because of the stress. It's over for the moment so some calm should return except for the small matter of our New York move.

We have planned to move to the US for many years. We spent so much time there preparing for Harriet and holidaying there and grew to love it. Since we want to do surrogacy again it makes more sense to be based there and enjoy all the legal certainty it gives us. In an ideal world it would be somewhere on the west coast but in reality it is more likely to be near the major financial centre of New York.

The first challenge to overcome was selling Field View and we all know how smoothly that went. Then with the departmental reorganisation I became the head of the quant group so I had to work on establishing the new group. For Credit Suisse it makes more sense for me to be based in London because that way I can cover the US and Asia but for me it makes more sense to be based in New York.

My approval request has been signed off at the highest level in the Strategic Risk Management group and in the current climate that is how far it has to go. The sticking point had become the cost but on investigation it turned out that they perferred it to go in the 2010 budget rather than 2011. So the relocation request is being expedited - I have even seen an email that sets November 12th as the target date. That is too optimistic I hope but we are aiming for a very quick move.

I'll post more details as it goes along. I expect that the next stage is the wait for a US visa appointment.