We let in light and banish shade

Christmas day at the Lovemasons began at a fairly respectable time: about 7am.  This is an important Christmas for H because she will remember it but it is still a gentle one.  Next year I'm sure the excitement will be even more intense and begin earlier.  Once she had emptied her stocking we queried the lack of bike.  "Maybe I'll get it next Christmas" was her cheerful reply (I certainly don't think we will hear that again).

We suggested checking out the tree and though the bike was on full display she was fixated on a bag that had Mickey Mouse and Father Christmas on it.  After much prompting she eventually turned her eyes to the bike.  It is purple, as requested, and comes with a pink bike lock and basket. We got it from a local bike store who built it.  J collected it on the day before Christmas Eve while H and I went to the local cinema to see Monsters Inc. 3D.  Luckily it fitted perfectly into our closet awaiting the big day.

She got many lovely presents for which we are all really grateful.  Our own gift to her (the bike was from Santa) was a wooden train set with a purple Thomas the Tank Engine character (Rosie).  She got a nice mix of toys to play with, ornaments to treasure, clothes (including awesome dress-up clothes) and money (which will go some way to extending the train set).

Father Christmas got me noise cancelling headphones (Bose) and Ugg gloves.  He got J an assortment of little things: Christmas with Disney sheet music, card games, notebooks, candles and so on.

At noon Gavin and Elisa arrived and we had brunch (scrambled eggs and salmon).  The kids of course ran around and played with their toys.  We had some prosecco and  periodically picked up whichever one had fallen over in excitement.  The Polar Express came on at some point to provide more sedate distraction (Hatty had watched it the night before too).

A few Skype calls later and it was soon time for dinner.  I would reprise my role from Thanksgiving and cook the turkey.  It was cooked from frozen this time but no-one died and though it is a bit of cheat (not a full turkey it is completely boneless) I think for me it is still not a bad achievement.

The children were soon over-tired and poor Elisa is ill so they headed home and Hatty was soon in bed.  We finished the evening with Cowboys & Aliens.

As ever, it was a magical time and we loved it but missed too our friends and family round the globe.  The next few days should be restful before we begin an action packed 2013.  Merry Christmas everyone.

Party Time

We are all on an adventure, it's just that as we get older we take so much for granted and our fuzzy minds struggle to imagine a world beyond our immediate chores. Sometimes though we are side-swiped by life and the a fresh look. Good friends can be the catalyst but what is there quite like a child at Christmas?

This Christmas Eve we took Harriet to the Kids' Party at work. They came to the 10th floor to leave coats and scooter in my office. One of my colleagues brought his two boys to work and soon enough she was playing golf with the six year old around the floor.

The party itself was extremely busy and there were long lines for all the activities. For an adult like me it was hell but for her it was heaven. She was so excited to ride a bike through Manhattan on a bike simulator. Then we played arcade games and then joined the long line for the roller-coaster simulator.

The line was long but she got to sit and watch a juggling show. At every opportunity she stuck her hand up to volunteer to help even though he wasn't actually asking for volunteers. I would have hung round the back but she gradually pushed her way to the front just in case the chance came.

After the reindeer ride she played table-top soccer followed by air hockey. We called it a day.

This evening we ordered Thai food and watched together The Polar Express. It was lovely and she went to bed happy. Hopefully by morning Santa will have delivered a bike and the adventure will begin again with renewed vigor.

Merry Christmas everyone!

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Buffalo

Less than twelve hours before the flight was due to take off we got a helpful message from Delta telling us that our flight had been cancelled.  They do not offer any explanation - not even a meaningless one like 'the flight is delayed because of the later arrival of the in-bound aircraft'.  The only option that we could use for re-booking was to take a flight first to Detroit, Michigan and then another flight to Buffalo, NY.  In other words, instead of a 1 hour flight of 390 miles we would take four hours and travel 1009 miles but options were few.

We were in Buffalo to visit an adoption agency, recommended by some friends of ours.  The agency has just moved and the office was still under construction, in a former Methodist church building.  The meeting was an extended consultation and we came away with a lot of paperwork and a lot of reading to do.  Adoption was always part of the plan but because a second surrogacy is still out of reach we decided to bring it forward.

One of the parts that struck me most was the need to produce a profile.  We had done it before of course, but that was mainly answering some set questions and supplying a few photographs.  This time it is a much bigger effort - the agency showed us samples of profiles and it is amazing the lengths to which some people have gone in terms of making professional looking booklets.

After the consultation we headed to the hotel.  I had booked it using my American Airlines Advantage miles.  American is in Chapter 11 at the moment and by all accounts is an even less happy place than it was before so we will most likely try to avoid them for a while.  I had too many miles for the cheapest hotels and too few for the most upmarket chain hotels but just enough for a local 'boutique hotel'.

From the road it looked like an ordinary hotel but as you pulled into the car park there was an ornate fountain (turned off) that set perfectly the theme for the experience.  The reception had a chandelier that must have been over 10ft long and all around it was decorated in a style that one might at first think is over the top.  They had made such an effort for the holidays - there was a large Santa Claus with reindeer as well as a giant toy soldier and snowman.  The minimalist style is so common these days that to have one senses assaulted by so many decorations (some really quite bizarre) was unusual and overwhelming.

Harriet loved it of course and we loved the bar and its menu.  There was of course much to talk about.

In the morning we had a few hours before the flight home so we took the short drive to Niagra falls.  It is over thirty years since I have been there but some parts of it - the spray and noise of the water - are so familiar.  We had only half an hour to climb the observation deck and take a few photographs before heading back to the airport.  As with the hotel we plan to come back at a future date, hopefully with more time.

The flight home took an hour and was 390 miles direct thank goodness.

Sandy

The moment I knew the storm would be serious was when I heard that the subway was to be shut down.  I had expected it to be closed on Monday prior to the storm arriving but when I heard it was to be closed on Sunday it really hit home.  The wind was fierce all through Monday - it get the city a sense of foreboding especially when a gust came along and hinted that this might be it.

We took a walk on Sunday afternoon to let Harriet feel the wind.  She knew the storm was coming and we explained that, although everything would be fine, there may be a lot noise.  She took it in her stride.

Flooding was never likely to be an issue for us.  Our apartment sits on high ground near to Central Park and if we were to be flooded the whole island would be under water.  Our main concern was power and by consequence water (since we rely on power to get our water up to the 10th floor).  Every large pot and jug was filled with water.

Most stores had closed of course but the deli at the end of 79th street stayed open throughout.  I overhead that their plan was to sleep in the back of the store if need be.  So lunch was a grilled cheese for H and burgers for us from there.

I took Pip out one last time at 6pm.  Thankfully she has recently started using the indoor toilet (a patch of artificial grass with a pad underneath).  The wind was still strong and the streets had become increasingly deserted.  My main concern with being out was flying debris - we could see well enough that some our neighbors had done only minimal amounts to secure their plants and outside furniture on their roof terraces (since we are so high for the area we get a commanding view of many roofs around us).

We settled down for the night - Harriet went to bed in our room since it has only one window whereas hers has two.  A big shock came when a TV newsflash said a crane had collapsed.   We recognized it immediately and looked out of the window to see, sure enough, the crane slumped over the side of the building.  I am surprised that we did not hear the collapse but it was now clearly a serious threat.  Later through the night we could see it swinging wildly but despite my most dire predictions it did not fall.

News arrived by twitter fairly quickly.  People started mentioning that they had received robo-calls to warn that the power was being shut down preemptively in Midtown.  News and pictures of the lower east side began to arrive - right up to the limit of zone A (the evacuation zone) cars were seen floating down the street.

We did not hear the explosion of the power plant on the East River at 14th street but videos came quickly on line.  Midtown was in darkness and still the stories came of the Brookly-Battery tunnel now being flooded to the ceiling.  No one could be in any doubt that an epic calamity was striking the city.  Lower Manhattan, Brooklyn and Staten Island were taking a direct hit (and one could only imagine what it must have been like along the coast of Long Island).

I understood that this was by no means the end because the water would take a couple of hours to travel down Long Island to reach the harbor so it would become progressively worse.

Ultimately we would lose power a few times but it was never permanent.  I went to sleep in Harriet's room listening to the ever louder winds but what else was there to do but hope?

As it turns out we were lucky.  In the morning I ventured out with the dog and our street had seen remarkably little damage.  We still had power and hence a working elevator and water.  Later that day we explored a bit more and saw that there was in fact a lot of damage at the end of the street where scaffolding had collapsed and huge trees had been uprooted but our neighbor's glass patio table remained resolutely on their roof.

The storm took on many surprising forms.  The pictures of the fires were stunning.  I had never realized just how much the risk of fire increases but it is obvious when you think about it (e.g. increased use of candles.  The pictures of a city split - with and without power were eerie.  Pictures came and would keep coming of carnage and destruction all over the east coast - incongruous images of boats resting on railway lines and heartbreaking scenes of homes razed to the ground by fire.

What is clear is that this is not over yet and its effects will be felt for a very long time.  We were lucky but so many others were not.

Intrepid

Halloween last year for us was done in something of a rush.  It is an event that has never particularly resonated with me - November 5th and Bonfire night was always bigger.  When J took Harriet out a year ago she saw all the other kids in costume and wondered why she was not.  He got a brilliant costume together quickly (we had at least had the foresight to buy a Harry Potter branded witch's hat in FAO Schwartz a few weeks before).

This time we planned her costume more than a month in advance of Halloween.  It was cold last year so the selling point of the bee costume was that it was warm - H would probably have preferred a princess dress that would have needed to be covered up.

Weather is surprising though and it is nowhere near as a cold as last year (there is another weather story coming but more of that later).

On Saturday we began the day with a trip to see Hotel Transylvania.  It was a not even slightly scary and was more like a Halloween version of Tangled (another of her favorite movies).  Next up was a trip to the LGBT Center in the West Village for the Halloween party.  Apart from one short meltdown over sharing a fire-truck (and she really did go almost thermonuclear) she had a great time.  It was also a chance for us to see a couple of parents we have not seen in some time and to see how much their children have grown.

It was a great sight to see the hall crowded with families.  Perhaps it would make Mitt Romney sick to see all these families since he thinks it is so wrong. He spent so long as Governor of MA trying to harass same-sex families and that is small beer compared to what he would do if he were President.  I believe in the need for having different opinions to make the best choices but frankly I agree with those Facebook posts where people have said that they cannot be friends with those who would contemplate voting for Mittens.

Even by the next day we had still not fully registered the severity of Sandy.  When in Florida a man had told Harriet that she might see a submarine out at sea but in fact she did not.  She was disappointed so we planned at trip to the Intrepid Museum.

Intrepid is a WWII aircraft carrier that is moored on the Hudson river at the end of 46th Street.  Next to it is the USS Growler which is a 1960s submarine and the reason for our visit.  As a bonus, the Intrepid has just taken delivery of the space shuttle Enterprise.  Enterprise was the prototype for the shuttle program and although it never actually went into space it is still an awesome sight. That said, Harriet was probably more impressed by the helicopters on the main deck of the Intrepid and those jets that had been painted to look like sharks or tigers.

On the hanger deck at the far end there were a couple of flight simulators.  Harriet really wanted to go on - the minimum height requirement is 42" which she clears just.  Remember, this is the child that is sick travelling at 10mph so I was not hopeful for going into a flight simulator and spinning upside down but she insisted and Jay took her on.  She had a great time so perhaps that how we have to travel now...

The submarine was our final stop (cramped and with a curious smell of diesel throughout) before having lunch.  The coverage of the storm had really begun to grow.  The subways were scheduled to start shutting down in a few hours so we decided that it was time to head home and batten down the hatches.

It is going to be a long few days.  Keep safe everyone.

An Experiment

It's the last day but I am running out of things to write, so I thought I would experiment with some videos. I don't have much in the way of editing software so apologies in advance but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

It will at least be a good record for us of the house.

The audio on the beach is particularly poor and the weather is unusually bad but it is still worth it.

Sadly the vacation is at an end. One final walk on the beach remains

 

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Getting the hang of it

Over a week ago we first went to the beach. Pippin found it all rather distressing and when we went into the water she actually swam after us. Today she got up onto a deck-chair and went to sleep. She took a little stroll to another group later, presumably because someone had opened a packet of biscuits. Harriet's friends were back at the beach again so they were soon building sandcastles.

In short everyone knew what they were doing and the day ran like clockwork. Tomorrow is the last full day and on Friday we return to New York City.

It is much too sad to contemplate.

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The Best Laid Plans

We were under orders today: the beach, all day. So we loaded the cart with deck chairs, parasols, floats, buckets and the boat. We loaded the cool box with life's essentials: water, lunchables, salami, coke, beer, more beer, another bottle of beer and a homemade margarita and mango cocktail.

The house is close to the beach but you need to cross a bridge over the dunes to reach it. The heavy cart and cool box were lifted up the steps and then down. At least we would be there for the whole day, to make it worthwhile.

The surf was fierce and the waves were really pounding the shore. The seaweed had returned but otherwise all was well. Harriet collected shells and fished for seaweed with her net. She made sand 'pancakes' and we got to see another couple of military jets soar overhead. The sun was as fierce as the surf but while taking photographs J noticed just how dramatic the clouds behind us were.

Soon enough we noticed that people were packing up and leaving. The dramatic clouds had got dark all of a sudden and as we too packed up thunder could be heard in the distance. After only a couple of hours we were crossing that damned bridge again. Fortunately we made it back to house and there was no rain - indeed we speculated that it would miss us altogether now we were back.

Harriet had eaten lunch on the beach so she went for her nap. The lightning and thunder carried on in the distance - growing increasingly strong but still at a distance. By the time Harriet got up the rain had started in earnest. We have had rain here before but it usually lasts an hour at most. However, this time Harriet's cartoons were interrupted by an announcement that warned of severe thunderstorms. A red banner flashed across the cartoon as the warning was read out. I confess it made us slightly nervous although the weather websites made it clear that we were only on the peripheries.

The rain has just eased so Pip and I could go out. It wasn't quite the beach day we had wanted but it was a good rest day nonetheless. Let us see what tomorrow has in store.

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Sharks and Raptors

Gosh I feel exhausted, broken even. It's 9.30 and I can't go to bed yet because I have to take Pippin out. That's the part of the day I like the least because the bugs are out in force, so I have to spray myself with some foul smelling stuff just to survive. The entire place comes alive and I am especially paranoid about snakes - last night I knew that Pippin had found something but fortunately it turned out to be a giant frog. We are a long way from the nearest vet so I need to keep an eye on her.

Still, a good part of the day follows immediately when I can sleep. Did I mention already that I am tired?

Holidays will do that to you of course. There is no such thing as relax with a three year old. She's really into imagination games at the moment so from the moment she wakes we are pretending to cook, to drive, to shop or whatever it is. Breakfasts, indeed most meals, take an age. In the swimming pool she plans all sorts of elaborate games that you had better just go along with, or face the consequences.

The pool was crowded this morning but ok. In the afternoon, after the thunderstorm, we went to the beach and Harriet made friends with a couple of children: a three year old girl and four year old boy. They had a brilliant time running around together.

Harriet really did have a wonderful time. In no uncertain terms have we been told that we are going to the beach tomorrow for the whole day.

There were a few interesting sights on the beach. A couple of guys who were fishing caught a small shark. This is not as dramatic as it sounds. The water is very shallow for about fifty meters from the shore before it becomes suddenly deep. People wade out to the edge and fish - there are plenty of large fish there that you can actually see in the waves themselves and plenty more jumping out of the water. There is no risk from sharks in the shallow although there are plenty of small fish.

The other exciting thing was seeing a couple of F-22 Raptor fighters (I think) from the nearby Tyndall air force base. They move breathtakingly quickly and noisily.

10pm now so I can take Pip out and try to prepare for tomorrow. Night night.

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Goldilocks Day

The mosquito coil is slowly burning and though it is still light I know that soon it will be as though someone has flipped the switch to send us into darkness. It has been a Goldilocks day - not too hot, not too cold but just right.

We began the day, as usual, with a trip to the pool. Unlike yesterday there were other people there, new people we had not seen before. They stared, like they always do though the eldest woman did speak to Harriet later in a very friendly way.

We overhead her say that she was going to spend the winter "up north". This turned to out to mean not Canada or Maine but Charleston, South Carolina. This reminded me of a Cornish couple I met once who told me they were leaving Truro for the "big smoke". They meant Exeter.

The afternoon required a trip to the store (beer we had none) and a return to the pool. The evening finished with a walk along the shore and steaks on the barbecue. As befits the day the steaks were perfect.

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All Quiet

Strangely, now the weekend has arrived it has become much quieter. For the first time we were the only people in the pool this morning. We remembered finally to take the underwater camera - a Kodak disposable that is encased in plastic and works by focusing light on photographic film. We have absolutely no idea what the pictures look like because they need to be "developed". Did we really live this way?

In the afternoon we took the boat to the beach, which was also much quieter. It was a bit of fiasco because H is not interested in being confined and wants to swim freely in the sea. A wave knocked the boat over and J's sunglasses were headed to Davy Jones's Locker. Luckily our practice in the pool with masks paid off and he managed to find them. We returned to the shore soon after.

It was windy so we couldn't just leave the boat on the beach, so one of us had to sit in it while H collected shells with the other. We have quite the collection building up.

After H's dinner we returned for a walk along the beach with Pippin before bed. In the morning she has recently been watching Madagascar 2, which I downloaded to my iPad. As a little treat for tomorrow I have downloaded Bee Movie.

For us now it is the quiet part of the day. Time to read a little, write a little and yes drink a little.

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The Wild Life

It has been raining most of the morning, but before you well up with tears it's ok, we're glad of the break. After all it's warm enough to sit in the lounge with only the bug-screen door open. It should be clear enough in the afternoon to manage a short trip to the pool and the beach. I thought I would write about some of the animal life we have seen and not seen.

First the animals we have not seen. During the drive down from Tallahassee we saw a few road signs warning of the presence of bears. Unsurprisingly we did not see any actual bears but it was a welcome reminder of just how wild the US wildlife is. I wondered out loud whether there would be any alligators here and this was answered a few days later when we saw a van advertising the service of removing 'nuisance alligators'. I guess having an alligator in your pond is something of a nuisance.

Finally on the no-see list is the sea turtle. There are signs warning us to keep beach-front lights out because they may confuse turtles. I'm happy enough not to see them though because we have probably caused enough of a nuisance and they should be well away from our dog-friendly beach.

Dogs are among the most commonly sighted mammals here of course, although we have seen someone walking their cat. They come in all shapes and sizes: Pip is by no means the smallest or indeed not the only Westie. The largest is an English Mastiff who is a gentle giant, not to be confused with the other shouty Westies.

There is a pond behind our house filled with turtles and fish. If you make the mistake of standing still on the balcony they will flock to you. Obviously our predecessors have fed them and though we offer nothing still they come.

Among all the insects (many different dragonflies) and birds (the cardinal is spectacular) The animal I am most pleased to have spotted: a long black snake. Another welcome reminder of just how wild the wildlife is.

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So what's new?

Not much really. We went to the heated pool, twice, and went to the Piggly Wiggly for a few odds and ends. There was a truly torrential downpour while we were in the Piggly Wiggly and though it eased off to allow us to load the car we drove home into the storm. Fortunately people are used to driving in this so it was not the chaos we remembered from LA in the rain.

The only real novelty I can offer is that I have started a new book: Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. I have started it before but not made it far, but it seems like an appropriate book to read in these times of calamity (it is set in the Great Depression).

The truth is that though we are having a fantastic, magical time we live in the same world as everyone else. I am conflicted when I post here about the fun we're having and especially when I post photographs. It's not that we get any hostile comments, indeed it's much more likely that those who disapprove simply ignore all our posts while being conspicuously active elsewhere. I am concerned too about personal matters, particularly work, as well as more global matters but let's leave it at that for now.

We've spoken to a few more people today and revealed a bit more about ourselves. "I knew from that accent y'all weren't from round here". We've even overheard a few attempts at a British accent (as in New York people seem to think the British say "Hello" repeatedly and with ever increasing pitch).

Hopefully, more of the same tomorrow on an auspicious Friday 13th.

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Sailing By

A trip to the store was needed so we took the car for the short trip. Shopping with Harriet is problematic because everything she sets her eye on becomes something she's always wanted. Often once she has declared that something is all she wants in the world, she then asks exactly what it is so we have to describe it. It's extremely difficult to be presented with a random object and have to describe it in a way a three year old finds satisfactory. It's a test you see, she knows the answer, and if I foolishly describe the statue as an alligator sitting on a tree stump then I am loudly corrected: IT'S A CROCODILE!

So we were in the store and she became infatuated with a bat that had a ball attached by elastic. "I want to play tennis. Please? I love to play tennis. Please?". We have bought her an inflatable boat but who cares? Tennis fades when we pass the coffee machine and she then insists on a styrofoam cup (this is a common flashpoint).

We resist and set off with the boat, which the store kindly inflated. Back at the beach we took it out for its inaugural trip in the Gulf. It was very pleasant - cooler than the day before because of the clouds above. However, the benefit soon faded and the heavens opened. We fled back to the house and it was a delicious irony to be taking a shower in the car-port while around us the rain hammered the ground.

The rain continued for a while but after that we could pay a visit to the pool and tried to teach H to swim without a flotation aid. She is definitely making progress and will be there very soon.

It's evening now and what is this? Did we pick up a little something for ourselves at the store, some booze and ice-cream perhaps? Too bloody right we did.

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Tonight's Walk

There's something special about taking your dog for the final walk of the night on a beach. Most nights of the year we end up walking behind the Museum of Natural History on Central Park, which is pretty darn special too but of course we never appreciate enough what's close at hand.

The beach was much cooler than the afternoon. Then, the sand was scorching hot and I had to carry Harriet directly to the water because it was just too hot for her feet. In the evening it was pleasant and Pip was happy to run in the sand. We arrived at the same time as a hugely overweight Scottie who waddled to the shore - Pip looked positively young and vital.

What caught my eye was a pelican that was gliding over the water and then landed. I was reminded of our tour of the USS Midway that explained that rather than landing on an aircraft carrier the planes underwent a controlled crash. The pelican seemed to drop suddenly out of flight and land on the water. There were still people swimming nearby but the large bird was unfazed. It stayed there for a while but then suddenly took off and carried on down the coast.

We headed back too where J was starting up the barbecue for tonight's meal.

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Sounding Off

It's the sounds that are the hardest to convey. I can take pictures in HD and write thousands of words; I can even rely on the reader or viewer to know how hot is because we've all been somewhere hot and know that feeling.

The sound of this place is new to me so I would suppose it must be the same for others. The general peaceful quiet, with surround sound insect hum and occasional punctuation by the birds are easy. What is harder is to explain the voices of our fellow residents.

My knowledge of the South does not go far: I've read To Kill A Mockingbird and The Help and watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof but that is not saying much. I watch True Blood of course, and that provides my main reference point for the accent (though I know too well that many of the principal characters are foreign even to these United States).

This morning, as I expect will be the case on many mornings hereafter, we spent the day in the clubhouse pool. There are two pools in this estate but this one is larger and cooler, with direct views across the beach below to the Gulf of Mexico.

I love to listen to the voices around me. As far as I can tell they are all Southern US accents (the license plates corroborate this being mainly from Georgia, Louisiana and Florida - with a sprinkling of Tennessee and Texas). We have the only other accents in the place. It feels friendly and safe although people largely keep to their own groups.

I have to confess that it is not necessarily an accent that I favour instinctively. Like many British people I have much better knowledge of the north east and south west coasts. The south has not exactly endeared itself to me in the little I know of its politics (the anti-gay amendment in North Carolina being the most recent). Florida's wretched role in the 2000 election and the outrageous efforts to exclude voters through new ID laws and purges are especially dismaying. Part of me is almost ashamed that we are spending our money in this state and wish the Supreme Court would drag it into the 21st century.

I suspect this clouds my view of the accent. It's ridiculous too: the idea that the states of New York and California may be characterized uniformly by the few neighbourhoods I have visited is absurd. We know lots of gay families across the country. That said I really feel proud of New York for the recent Pride and though California has no marriage equality yet we still have our magical daughter.

Hopefully we are helping to change attitudes, if indeed they even need to be changed. It's not exactly much of an effort just to have a wonderful time in this beautiful part of the world. And perhaps the main attitude that needs to change is mine.

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To the Piggly Wiggly and Back

Today was our first day but there was one important task to complete: grocery shopping. We just had to grit our teeth and get in the car. We travelled to the Piggly Wiggly in Port St Joe. That's really the name of the supermarket (familiar to me from reading The Help but I was still amazed it existed)

The heat was still severe and it was a long walk across the car park. We bought so much stuff, much of which was frozen, so it was a comical rush to get the bags into the chilly embrace of the car's air-conditioning.

On the return journey we stopped at the local store for beer (the Piggly Wiggly does not sell but even if it did it the trolley was full). The young cashier gave me the greatest honor by asking for ID. I finally look under forty! He probably just had the over-zealousness of youth and he was visibly amazed by the holograms on my NY ID.

The afternoon was a more pleasant affair, spent entirely in the pool. The house is ready and tomorrow will be the first proper day.

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Heading South

Pleasant though Tallahassee was, it was only meant to be a brief stopover before we could go to the beach house we are renting for the holiday. After breakfast we loaded the car and set off. It was excruciatingly hot and so humid that sweat did not evaporate, instead it merely passed downwards under gravity.

The roads were great. Perhaps it is because Tallahassee is the capital city or perhaps it is just the lack of heavy use, but compared to New York's battered highways they are smooth as silk. Still, as we drove on it became increasingly clear just how remote it was becoming. The only regular non-residential buildings were churches and being Sunday their car parks were full.

Eventually we hit the coast and saw the Gulf. Since the house wasn't available till later we took a small detour to St George Island. The park we stopped in was not dog friendly at all but we took a paddle in the water. It was a shock: warm, really warm. All I can say it was like a bath really. Pip had to stay in the car with the air-con on so we did not linger and continued onwards.

The house is in a gated community and has its own private, dog-friendly beach. The ground floor is a covered area for the car, with an outside shower for getting rid of the sand and another shower hose for cleaning your boat.

On the next level is a spacious lounge with a couple of sofas, dining table and huge kitchen. The striking thing is just how beautifully furnished it is. Every little detail suggests that someone has lived here and thought it through. There's a fishing net that cunningly obscures the fuse box and a shelf made from a boat rudder stacked with carved sea-birds. There is a terrace at the rear which overlooks the lake and from which you can fish.

The top floor has two palatial bedrooms, both ensuite and both with terraces. It also is carpeted which is novel.

We opted for a quick trip to the beach. The sand is white, its only fault being how hot it was. The sea is indeed like a bath. Pippin was one of several dogs on the beach but the only one not to care for it. When we were out in the water she plunged in after us although it was clearly no pleasure. It was already six o'clock and we decided that was enough. When we return with chairs and shade Pip may enjoy it more.

At Harriet's insistence we then tried out one of the two swimming pools. Then it was home for dinner and bed. She did not go willingly.

Still, it was not a proper day. That will come tomorrow. We had steaks on the barbeque and then retired to the top terrace. I am writing this under the stars.

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A day in Tallahassee

We were all exhausted from yesterday and remarkably managed to sleep until 8am. Breakfast in the hotel is nice enough although we subjected to a TV showing Fox. The young here have been lovely but some of the older people stared openly; not explicitly unfriendly but not friendly either.

J and H went to Wal-Mart to do a bit of shopping. Pippin and I stayed by the pool. The heat was severe so I moved to be under a large bush and Pip dug a hole under my seat. There's an Applebee's attached to the hotel so lunch was there when the wanderers returned.

H had a post-lunch sleep and then the heavens opened. There was thunder and lightning for about an hour but it passed. We could then spend the evening in the outdoor pool. It was so pleasantly warm and a perfect day. Tomorrow we shall be heading to the south for the beginning proper of the vacation.

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Tally Ho

We set our alarms for 4am. The car came at 5am and we set off. As usual the driver drove badly - this is par for the course here. He hit 80mph on the New Jersey Turnpike. The amazing thing is that Harriet was completely fine: once she would have been travel sick on a smooth 500yd journey.

The surprise for J was that I had managed to get us an upgrade to First Class. It was only when we boarded and he got to his seat did it dawn on him, but he adapted quickly and soon had a pre-takeoff Bloody Mary. It was all rather civilized and made flying actually pleasant.

At Tampa I thought the screen said our flight had been cancelled and that the next one was five hours later. Fortunately it was the arrivals screen and not the departures. Our flight was only one hour delayed.

It was another trip for me on a tiny propellor plane (twenty seats) but the first for J and Harriet. Unlike my trip to Du Bois the weather was fine so it turned out ok. Harriet fell asleep almost immediately. The only other child on the plane screamed most of the way but H slept through it all.

Tallahassee is an unlikely holiday destination but it's only temporary. The flights on Sunday were stupidly expensive so it made sense to come here today and stay in a hotel. We'll be going to the beach house on Sunday for the vacation proper. However, the rest will begin now: nothing ambitious for tomorrow beyond the hotel pool.

Long may it continue.

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Pride 2012

Pride returned to New York, a year after the heady days of marriage equality in the state. The previous weekend we met fellow parents at the Rally in the East River Park. This is a kick-off event with some singers, comedians and speeches. Alas the East River park is a mission to reach and the sun was fierce but at least Harriet got to meet the Nesquik bunny.

Commercial sponsorship of LGBTQ events is controversial here and you will frequently hear of conservative groups calling for boycotts. One of the better known is the amusingly named 'One Million Moms' who number their members in the thousands. They are a creation of the American Family Association (and so largely run by men), which has a long history as a hate group. OMM called for a boycott of JC Penney because they used Ellen as a spokesperson. This year it was Oreo cookies that attracted their wrath. OMM are ridiculous because of their lack of success but AFA has a broad reach with hundreds of radio stations.

So that is why I support Pride and oppose those people, particularly the gay ones, who think it harms equality. The enemy is at the gate and whether it is overt hate like AFA or couched in moderate language it can do real harm. The march matters and in New York it's remembered that drag queens started the fight back.

Anyways, back to the parade. We took the subway to Maddison Square Park - the journey I take every weekday because my work overlooks MSQ park. It's a lovely bit of the city - a little square of green with perfect views of the Empire State ten blocks north. At the base is is the iconic, wedge shaped Flatiron building where Fifth Avenue meets Broadway.

It was already busy when we arrived and it took us a while to find our way to the agreed meeting point. There was an organized meetup in the middle of the park but first we stopped to see the parade. As luck would have it we arrived at the same moment George Takei's car reached our spot. He is, of course, Mr Sulu from Star Trek and much more. He is one of the most vocal gay rights campaigners in the US: I first knew this when he released videos condemning the Don't Say Gay (section 28 style bigotry for the UK readers) in TN. He suggested that people use his surname instead of gay if needed (they rhyme). He was dressed in his Scouting uniform and appeared with a woman who had been kicked out of the Boy Scouts because she is a lesbian.

The parade continued with the usual mix of floats and groups. I thought Con Edison's staff did a particularly impressive dance routine. There was a fine cheer-leading routine but the loudest cheer was reserved for the Trevor project. This is a charity that works to prevent teenage suicides among LGBTQ youth (the Q stands for Questioning/Queer). It's a very necessary, worthwhile effort - there are just too many heartbreaking stories here.

The politicians were there too - the governor who brought marriage equality to New York and the speaker of the New York City Council, the openly gay Christine Quinn. Some groups were smaller in number but vocal nonetheless.

We stopped at the meetup for a while - Harriet, T and Gavin ran round the pool in the park again and again and again. Then we had lunch with Elisa and Gavin before watching some more of the parade. We moved down 5th avenue where we saw a Jewish protestor. He had a stuffed dog in a wedding dress and a giant giraffe. A sign explained that if men married men then soon enough men would be marrying dogs and giraffes. Another sign carried the usual quotes from Leviticus.

Some counter protestors stood nearby with signs that read "This guy needs a hobby" but when the Isreali marchers spotted him they flocked round him and taunted him loudly. He left shortly afterwards, dragging his giraffe behind him. His right to protest had been protected (he had been given a segregated area to stand, surrounded by barriers) but good riddance.

It had been an uplifting day that a lone protestor could not diminish. There was an optimistic feeling to the day and it showed just how diverse NYC truly is. Groups like the Trevor project remind us that growing up gay in much of the country seems impossible to many. Whether it is the Boy Scouts or One Million Moms there are national organizations who seek to diminish us. But there on fifth avenue you can see the other side: drag queens and gogo dancers, churches and trades unions, politicians and bankers, sports clubs and drama groups, ex-pats and families, LGBTQ and straight allies. This was our stronghold and a parade that celebrated our best. The challenge comes in the rest of the year to spread the message and win the necessary battles.

Proud.

 

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The long way round

J and H flew out to Chicago a week before. Cruise America had a special offer for a one-way rental from Chicago to New York: it was 80% off so a real bargain.

I would meet them for the home stretch but the logistics were tricky. Long distance train travel in the US is difficult because you cannot take dogs on Amtrak (regional transport in NJ and NY is ok though) so we would have to fly. The logical route for him was to take I-80 through Pennsylvania but this bypasses the major cities.

I discovered that I could fly to a town on the route. It was a long route via Cleveland but dog friendly and exciting because I would be traveling on tiny plane and arriving into the middle of nowhere.

Pippin looked surprised when I called her at 6am. She was more bemused when she was dumped in her case for our short trip uptown on the 1 train. Then, normal service was resumed as she walked a few blocks before once again being encased and slung on a bus.

The M60 begins at Columbia, which I had never seen. The bus got very busy through Harlem and in contrast to every other part of the journey no one looked at us or talked to us.

The MTA have got a sensible system in which two buses travel together so it keeps moving and soon we were crossing the bridge to Queens. All views of the city are special but bridge views especially so. The tedious part of the journey is the route it takes when it is in the airport (obviously I am the last stop and at every previous one travelers get on and don't have change/metro cards).

Still it was not so bad for 2.25. We had a toilet stop for Pip and then breezed through security. Having done this before I was much more confident on the process to be followed.

The plane to Cleveland was small by usual standards. Luckily my companion chose to move and Pip got some more room. We needed to exit for the pet relief area and so had to endure a much slower security line. Every person in that slow moving line wanted to talk to me. Over and over I confirmed that yes she was a good traveller, she was a Westie and she was 7 years old.

The next stage in the journey was like no other flight I have ever taken. It was to be a flight of 150 miles south west to Du Bois PA.

The plane had nine rows of seating with one seat on either side. The co-pilot does the meeting and greeting - it was just him and the captain. He was a friendly man and insisted that Pip have her own seat.

There is no door to the cockpit so I could watch everything. They paid a lot of attention to a piece of paper clipped in centre. I have no idea what it was and rather hoped it was something not flight related.

We set off - in such a small plane and so low to the ground the taxiing to the runway felt like we were in a sports car. Once airborne it was smooth enough until we were over Pennsylvania.

The land is green and hilly with minimal signs of human impact. I felt like Attenborough surveying an undiscovered land in that little propellor plane.

We flew into an almighty rain cloud and were buffeted in every possible direction. The plane seemed to drop altitude suddenly every now and then.

The landing was like no other because I sat transfixed on the cockpit. I could at least see the runway lights - but they were by no means staying still and did not seem to be in centre until the last moment.

It was fine of course and conditional on knowing that I had survived it was the best thrill ride ever.

J and H drew up in the RV and the journey was complete.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

All the other kids

A month or so ago I took the subway, as usual, from 72nd Street to Times Square. My usual companions in the car at that time are like me, unremarkable in the main; office workers, street vendors, cleaners and perhaps some tourists off to catch an early flight. If I oversleep then it is more likely that I will start to see those who work in the more creative industries and therefore a bit more New York City fashion flair.

However, this time was early and if the fashionistas were awake they were still trying to arrange their impossibly thin scarves into this season's neck sculpture. Yet when I boarded the train I saw him immediately.

A man was sitting in the train, wearing a dark suit (so far so normal) with a cardboard box on his head (not so much). It was an elaborate one to be sure - it had a pixelated face which matched the skin colour of his hands.

If this were London he would be ignored but this is America, New York admittedly so only just but still America. Surely someone would ask him why he was doing this? I was desperate to know and certain that a girl from Cleveland, a boy from San Antonio or a grandmother from Madison would do the decent thing and ask.

But perhaps it was too early or perhaps the British really have taken over. I kicked myself mentally all day for not being the one to ask. To this day I still do not know but I am resolved to never do this again.

I thought of this yesterday when we were in Central Park with our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans parent group. Towards the end we were joined by a college friend of one of the women. He was curious about the group so asked his friend:

"Gay and Lesbian parents? So did they all flip-flop like you?"

At first I was slightly taken aback but she didn't visibly mind at all and explained how diverse the group was. In fact we had many routes to parenthood represented there. Some indeed had children from previous straight relationships, some had adopted, some had used sperm donation and and a couple of us had children through surrogacy. There were 12 kids from the various families and they had such a lot of fun.

My initial reaction was that 'flip flop' was too belittling a term, especially here in US politics where it is used to mean the abandonment of previously, strongly held beliefs (see Willard Mittens Romney). But I'm glad he asked because it gave the opportunity to answer and it was the answer that framed a perfect day.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Making Time

It is astonishing to me that we are almost ready to say farewell to March and I have yet to make a post here.  So, it is time to make some time and provide a few updates.

Beginning at the beginning, we moved from the West Village to the Upper West Side in January - a distance of four miles but a world away.  This was searingly expensive.  UK people will be amazed to hear how the system works here: you need to pay 6% of the annual rent to the landlord's agent and 6% to your agent if you are actually accepted (plus the cost of the credit checks).  So basically imagine paying a month and a half's rent just for the privilege of being allowed to rent somewhere.  We wanted to bring Billy to America and got turned down for four places before we had to give up on that idea.  Add in the cost of removal companies and the overlap period when you are renting two places in Manhattan and it becomes gut-punchingly expensive.

The neighbourhood is much more family friendly, close to many of our closest friends and being near to Central Park is a great boon.  The apartment is larger and the views are amazing.  Fortunately the commute although longer is fine too.  It is a lot cheaper than the old place and we have a two year lease so over time we will save.

There is no progress on the second surrogacy.  The costs have gone up a great deal since we last did it.  Some of this is just circumstantial - we were so lucky before that the pound was at 2 dollars so that alone has made it about 30% more expensive (from a British point of view).  The agencies have really ramped up their fees and the insurance companies have become even more demanding.  The end result is the cost is almost at least double what it was the last time and it has to be found up-front in its entirety.  Before we had a house to borrow against but this time that would not be an option even if we still owned Field View.  Yes I know that I am a rich banker but despite what you may have read banker compensation is down a lot and deferrals are up hugely (three to nine years is the norm now).  We are waiting on our clinic's in-house program but that will take time.

I know that people have real problems.  I'm not writing this because I want sympathy but we are asked so frequently about how it is going that it is probably worth filling in a few of the details.

We have been very busy entertaining family.  J's parents came in January just after we moved.  It was time to visit some of the familiar tourist spots - the Empire Sate, Top of the Rock and Broadway.  Next up were my parents in February.  They wanted to take us somewhere for our birthdays and we chose Bermuda.  This had the happy outcome of allowing us to reset our landing cards because we had left the United States.  After the last episode when J and Harriet were detained at Newark we were apprehensive but it was fine.

At least our immigration issues give us conversation material.  We are members of a Lesbian and Gay parenting group and recently we hosted the monthly brunch at our place.  For a good hour we shared our horror stories of trying to get in to the US.  One woman is now a US citizen but she travels to Canada with work frequently and says she is now resigned to being picked out for special screening every time (she attributes that to the fact that she is from the Dominican Republic originally).  One Japanese guy was held for nine hours one time before being allowed in.

It especially infuriates me how we are treated at this time of year when I file my US taxes.  I have the usual ex-pat gripes.  More than this as a gay man I have to do the usual double speak when I explain that for State/City purposes J is my husband whereas for federal purposes he is nothing to do with me whatsoever.   We need to have security about where we can stay and I need some more options for work.

But before I end let us return to Bermuda.  The beach was beautiful and though the water was cool it was quiet and it was a joy to spend time uninterrupted with Harriet.  She loved the water, the sand, the fish and the Jacuzzi.  When other children came to the beach she could play the leader and play the follower and cracked even the most closed groups of siblings.  She had the confidence to march up to the bar and the guile to charm the staff into giving her cherries.  She plays air guitar better than anyone and is fiendishly clever when she thinks she is unobserved and charmingly clueless when being grilled about some misdemeanor.  The important thing is that I got to spend the time and see it first hand.

We are confounded by circumstances and not everything goes according to plan, not our plan at least, but we are having the time of our lives.