Christmas 2011

So many Christmases have come and gone. As adults the magic has worn increasingly thin to the extent that last year we had very few presents (they were somewhere in the Atlantic) and the morning was spent in a supermarket. That's not to say it was bad, just lacking some of the wonder.

But even then we knew it would change and we knew it was going change in December 2011. Harriet has been singing jingle bells for weeks now and when we went to see the see the tree at the Rock she spied a skating Father Christmas on the ice rink and nearly exploded with excitement.

J managed all the logistics smoothly. My only task was to do the last shop with J while Sarah looked after Harriet. In the evening the time finally came to go to bed and we set out the sherry and mince pie for Santa. Lacking carrots for Rudolph we used some of the tortoise leaves as a substitute - Harriet ignored the sherry and mince pie but was trying to munch the leaves before the red nosed one could get there.

Bed time came and once she was off J set to work on making the stockings. As a modern twist he then used an iPhone app to take pictures of the apartment, superimposing pictures of Father Christmas as he delivered the presents.

The morning came and she climbed into bed. "I've got a push chair" she said, matter-of-factly. "Is there a stocking?", "Yes", "Shall we have a look?", "OK".

Next year we won't get away with such a super-cool approach! Once the stocking came out she became increasingly excited. It was the little things that really captured her imagination like a 50 cent plastic wand and an owl key-ring that shone bright blue light on demand.

When we showed her the pictures of Santa she was hysterical - "That's my room!!!"

Once downstairs the adults opened their stockings. I got an awesome massager plus a non-spill wine glass and various stain removers (just in case). I had got J a calendar of country music quotations, a national geographic photo book and a mock children's book ("Go the **** to sleep"). Sarah and I got a joint present of a vintage Atari games console.

We had insisted that my mother wait till she saw us before she opened her present. So we fired up Skype and saw her just before her Christmas lunch. Her present, a locket, contains small pictures of Harriet and a curl of her hair to keep her close though she is so far away.

Breakfast was pancakes and bacon - what else? We have got Harriet her own stool that lets her sit at the table without a booster seat (she loves T's) so she could sit with us (only orange juice unlike the bucks fizz we were knocking back).

The presents were amazing. I don't want to highlight any one particular thing so let's leave it there but honestly we are so lucky. Harriet had an absolute ball and we could all kick back as she played like a mad thing.

Too much prossecco and an over-excited child meant that it was time for a break. We took a walk out to Washington Square park for some fresh air and a run around.

We were home to catch up with J's family at Kev and Amy's before it was time for dinner. Christmas Dinner was a perfect blend of tradition and modernity. We had French onion soup, followed by turkey and ultimately Christmas pudding (sourced from the British store on Hudson). It was such a wonderful, leisurely dinner and Harriet was very much part of the table and conversation. She bowed out, exhausted, before pudding - her first Christmas when she really knew what was going on.

As tradition dictates we ended the night with a board game which was hilarious, though not in the way the designers intended (we were just doing parodies of the questions at the end).

So that is it, a perfect Christmas. Thank you to Sarah for coming, to our families and friends across the world and to J for making it all happen seamlessly.

Most of all, thank you Harriet for making it truly magical.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

For the love of arctic terns

A long, long, time ago when I was with my former employer I knew the most unlikely salesman.  He was the friendliest, most genial man in the world.  I couldn't imagine that he was very successful in sales, lacking a killer instinct and any vanity, and I was probably right but it did not seem to matter to him.  A colleague of mine was stunned one day after he had given the salesman some help and received an email of thanks with an accompanying link to an album of pictures of wild birds.  The man had a passion for them and would travel the length and breadth of the US to photograph them and observe them.  We laughed, not in a deliberately mean way but in the way of an outsider, confounded by another's passion so willingly exposed.

I am writing this, as so often, from an airline departure lounge.  It's a self funded trip yet one that has involved spending a lot of time in the office (with a short stop to exchange presents in Scotland).  I need to do it because that was the deal when I moved to the US nearly one year ago.  I knew that I would need to do the early mornings to catch London meetings and I would need to travel frequently.  If anything I predict that next year I will travel even more frequently than the four trips I have done this year.

It's hard to be away from home so often (and it seems more because J and H's two trips have been without me so essentially every other month we are apart for at least a weak).  If social travel broadens the mind then business travel can close it because you might start to think that all places look the same.  But life is a compromise and we knew it full well when a year ago we stepped into the arrivals hall at Kennedy.  Harriet was in her stroller, Pippin in her box, most of our possessions somewhere in the sea and we were stepping out into a new life.

Living in Manhattan has proved to be a huge thrill.  We have been lucky enough to have always iconic views of the city and even the walk to work takes me across Madison Square Park with the Empire State Building looming near at hand.  Harriet plays in parks with the Statue of Liberty standing tall in the distance.  Central park is as commonplace a destination as the Wanstead Flats once were.

The biggest impact has come from meeting new people, many in a similar situation to us.  Harriet has friends for whom having a gay parent or parents is quite normal.  Some of our friends used gestational surrogacy as we did, others adopted and others have children from previous relationships but they have much in common.  The whole world will not be kind to Harriet because of us and we see the worst of it in the US - the Republican Party and the church foam at the mouth about gays in the US far more than any of our European friends might realise.  It is strange but this land where opposition to us is so bitter and discrimination so vile and commonplace is the same country that made the whole thing possible in the first place.

Our visa situation with J is still problematic and is unlikely to change until we see how the election in 2012 goes.  Repeal of DOMA (the ban on federal recognition of same sex marriage, thanks Bill Clinton) is highly improbable in the short term anyway.  We have time on our side through our current visas and will just have to wait and see.  But it is serious and already this year Jay has been detained at immigration for a while because someone didn't like his unusual visa (for anyone keen to preserve religious opt-outs in the provision of public services, all I can say is [insert favourite expletive here]).

Life outside of Manhattan has proved to be a thrill too.  We have not made enough use of the country yet but J and H have been to South Carolina and the whole family (including the dog!) flew to Florida for an RV vacation.  We also travelled to San Francisco to see my parents and returned with them to New York.  Next year we definitely plan to see a lot more of the country but we haven't done that badly so far.

Distance from family can be a real downer too.  I saw how my parents' home has become almost a shrine to Harriet with pictures of her everywhere and they want to hear every little detail.  They've made the trip out twice but it seems hardly enough.  So many other close friends and family are in a similar position and not everyone can come to New York but at least we do skype, we do come home and they do visit where they can.  I console myself with the thought that at least it's not Australia - without familiy concerns I think we would both consider living there.

So on the one hand we have the city, the new friends, the travel and so much more while on the other we contend with a hostile political system that treats us a second class to straight married couples, the need to travel and the distance from family.

On balance, it's been a success so to many people who ask me how I like New York I say very much.  It's like spotting a rare arctic tern - it may be a bit of a pain to get there and you may need to look first at a few pigeons but it's worth it all the same.

Lest we forget

I came to New York on business last year at the beginning of September and it was exceptionally hot - verified by the locals so not just the words of a Scot unused to seeing the big yellow thing in the sky.  After the hot summer months I confidently predicted to my sister and brother in-law that it would be hot when they came.  It turned out not to be the case - in fact our trip to Coney Island was so cold that we had no option but to shelter in the Aquarium again.  Summer is officially over it seems.

Still, they had come to see Harriet and she had a wonderful time with them.  The last time they had seen her, other than Skype, was our trip to Scotland just before we moved so they got to see quite a change.  She had them run ragged at times but I'm sure they all had a great time.

On the Sunday J and H went apple picking with Samara, T, Elisa and Gavin so we went to the 9/11 memorial that had just opened.  The task of designing such a place cannot have been easy - just where do you begin with something that massive.  

What they have done is very special though.  The two pools sit in the footprint of the twin towers and the water runs down the edge, draining away in the centre where you eventually lose sight of it.  The names of everyone killed in all the attacks are written on panels that surround the edge of the pools.  Many of the names were accompanied by a few flowers. 

There is much there that speaks of the loss - the gaping holes where the buildings stood and the draining away of the water - but much too that speaks of hope and renewal.  As the trees grow it will become a very special place in New York.

Roaring Home

The safari park adjacent to the campsite was extremely good.  First of all they had rental cars so we did not need to risk our RV and they had kennels so Pip could stay safe.  There were great views of the lions but the stars were probably the Rhinos that wandered very close to the car.

The second part of the park was out of the vehicle.  The heat was scorching but luckily they had sprinklers dotted through the park spraying water.  We fed the fish and the sheep, talked to the parrots and admired the huge alligators.  But the star of the show was undoubtedly feeding the giraffe.  You walk up a ramp to an elevated platform that lets you look them in the eye and feed them large lettuce leaves.  It is breathtaking to be so close to those beautiful creatures.  The giraffe, as the guide told us, has a seventeen inch prehensile tongue and thus could easily take the lettuce from Harriet's hand unlike the bossy sheep who grab and kick you if you are too slow dishing out the goods.

Soon it was time to leave and this was not popular with Miss Lovemason who had had a lovely time and who was rather keen to visit the water park.  Still, we persisted and soon she was asleep in her chair - just in time for a stop in Walmart for J.

The journey to the final campsite was to be a different sort of journey, far from the interstates.  It involved driving in the interior up long, straight roads, initially through sugar plantations and then alongside the massive Lake Okeechobe. The final stretch moved northwards through scattered small communities before we arrived at our final stop: Lake Kissimmee State Park.

Our site was deep in the park, isolated and beautiful.  We enjoyed just sitting out in some less humid heat but some excitement came when Pip, after a period of paying extreme attention, shot into the woods.  Soon enough there was a flash of grey and then a flash of white as something moved out of the bush with Pip in pursuit.  J shot after it with a camera and called us over - it turned out that the object of Pip's attention was largely indifferent to her because it was an armadillo.  It busied itself digging around in the woods before leaving our site for some other activity.

Sad to say the next day came soon enough and we were soon driving back to Orlando and a flight home.  The taxi driver who took us to the airport insisted at the end that we must come back, in the Winter at best, and yes we probably will.

All Quiet on the Floridian Front

I had to postpone this one a few times because the last thing anyone would want to read was me blathering on about the sun and sea in the Keys while London burned. It felt strange to be sitting in a tropical island, longing for a breeze and another cool drink, while stories of mayhem from Tottenham Hale retail park and Wall Street flooded my twitter feed. It was genuinely frightening not simply because of what was happening but the ominous potential for things to get so much worse.

We've arrived today in West Palm Beach, the Keys are many miles behind us, the riots seem to have passed and so here is the recap in case you're interested.

Our drive to the Keys was uneventful: drive 99.6 miles and you have reached your destination on the right were our instructions. To be fair there isn't much room for turning and changing highways as route 1 snakes its way from the mainland down to Key West.

The scarcity of land means that this was to be the most expensive site of the trip at just under ninety dollars a night! However, it was the nicest of the lot with its own little stretch of beach. Soon enough we were all in the sea. The gulf waters are beautifully warm but by no means empty and after J was stung by a jellyfish we beat a hasty retreat to the pool.

There's a pub too where they will pour a third of a bottle of spirits for you for three dollars. Ah the Keys - pay through the nose for a patch of grass to park on but forget all your worries and your name for the price of a loaf of bread.

The next day was a pure Harriet day so we stayed in the pool and the play-ark.

The last day was a trip out to Key West proper (our campsite was in Sugarloaf Key). This place is very hostile to RVs and we drove around for ages looking for parking (lots of No RV parking signs everywhere). In the end the campsite directed us to the Welcome Center who let us park and we took a taxi into town. Pip was back in her travel bag but only for five minutes.

The taxi driver recommended a couple of places and we eventually gave up looking and took his advice. As ever I was a little nervous about Pippin but relaxed immediately when we entered Schooner's Wharf bar because there was a dog sitting on the stage.

It was an inspired choice/recommendation. I'm not saying it was the best food in the world but it was all fresh (my crab salad had just walked out the sea I'm sure). Pip was very welcome and had her own bucket of iced water and a shady spot.

(See what I mean about going all Boris Johnson - at that moment our English friends were genuinely and legitimately concerned for their safety)

Back to the pool and the following day we said farewell. Today was a long drive north via Miami Beach (it rained so we didn't stop) to a safari park west of West Palm Beach.

The coda to a long, boring drive was this evening's play-park visit. Harriet met a girl, Amanda, her own age and the two of them played for ages on the slide. Both girls looked beautiful and were at that perfectly compatible age where a few words of encouragement ("let's go", "ready, steady, go!" etc) were all that was needed. As ever, I refer you to J's pictures and videos for the full effect.

Be safe everyone.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

What's deadlier than a shark?

We bade farewell to the Naples site and drove down highway 41. First we stopped briefly to see the Alligators again before continuing a further 30 miles to Shark Valley.

Most of the valley is accessible only by guided tram tour or bike but there is a short walk available. The place was full of life - many turtles, crickets, fish and even several baby alligators (mom was no doubt close by but invisible to our eyes). There are no sharks in Shark Valley but there is a ferocious biter: the mosquito.

We got severely bitten - Harriet much less so because she was covered up thankfully. Even now, more than a day later I am struggling not to scratch my entire body.

So onwards to our next stop. I was concerned about this one because it wasn't a national/state park or major chain. In fact it turned out to be fine although the employee who guided us to our pitch made us cringe with his remark about how useful she must be for meeting women at the grocery store. Harriet loved the playground and the play-house in particular.

It was another sound and light show that provided some distraction from the urge to itch.

Tomorrow: the Keys.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Wanted: Alligators

It's almost one am in Britain so the radio is getting ready to broadcast the shipping forecast. It's only 8pm here in Naples but thankfully the daughter is just about to drop off to sleep.

(Shipping forecast has started - i'm in 99F heat in Florida listening to the storms in Iceland)

We've been pretty much out of Internet access for the last two days in Myakka river state park. There was the odd bit of 3G so we could refresh twitter but not much beyond that.

On our first day we did very little. We were the only RV in a large campsite. The pitch was large and soon set up with deck-chairs and huge buckets of water. Harriet played with the water, I read my kindle, J took photographs and Pip stretched out under the RV.

The next day we drove through the park. We were lucky to see deer, turtles and many birds but not alligators. Harriet fell asleep so we drove out the park and toured Sarasota beach front followed by a quick shopping trip and lunch.

On return we went to the nature trail. J, as many of you will know, has a real phobia of spiders but has tried so hard to ensure he doesn't pass it on. Spiders are 'nice' he insists.

(The National Anthem's playing now)

However, even he couldn't hold it in when he saw these spiders. They were huge admittedly but at a safe distance.

The aerial walkway in the park is well worth the effort. You climb 70 feet up a wooden tower and get great views across the park (just think how many spiders there are!).

Today we travelled down I-75 to the Gulf visitor centre of the Everglades near Everglade City. Taking their advice we travelled to a picnic site that allegedly had the best views of alligators but alligators there were none. We stood in the heat straining our eyesight for any sign of the beasts but gave up and drove further down the unpaved road.

Our futile, sweltering search seemed laughable - there were many huge alligators sitting just by the water's edge.

Satisfied, we travelled to our stop for the night to try out its swimming pool and playground.

It's been an exhausting day I feel as though it's 1am. Thunderclouds have arrived and the sky has turned a threatening colour. It's good to be inside and I'm looking forward to bed; unlike someone in the RV who is fighting sleep with all her strength. J is out taking photographs and I'm off to refill my glass (beaker actually). Plus ca change I suppose.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Flash and Bang

It's well known that many Americans do not have a passport. Why, the reasoning goes, would they need one when this vast country has so much to offer, often not too far away? At last we have lived this out and taken a two hour flight from New York to Orlando.

It reminds us not of California but the Northern Territory of Australia that we visited six years ago. In any case it feels like a world away from Manhattan.

Another common saying is that catching a domestic flight here is like catching a bus. The flight is definitely no-frills but look who is here with us - Pip!

In the US you cannot take a dog on Amtrak (except service dogs) but a plane? of course, welcome aboard! She was beautifully behaved in her carrier and once we were in the air she came out and lay across our laps, quite content.

It's hot here and even though the iPhone tells us the temperature is similar to New York it feels much hotter. We picked up our rental RV and J at last got to go to Walmart.

The days we could just set off into the sunset are gone. Tonight we travelled 10 miles and set up in a campsite by a lake. It has a dog run with tunnels and see-saws and to our amazement Pip actually tried them out. She must be amazed to see so much grass.

But the weather! The skies opened when we were out and we were soaked in the short run back to the RV. It let up for a bit and we were able to walk out to the end of the dock and watch the thunder and lightning across the lake.

It promises to be a great trip.

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Go West

The winter seems so long ago.  Once there were feet of snow on the sidewalk and every journey out required piling on the layers and heavy boots.  Now, it's nearly 9pm and my toolbar tells me it's still 79F.  I'm sure that if I did go outside it would feel even hotter than that.

It wasn't that long ago but it's hard to imagine it ever was.  Similarly, in calendar time, it wasn't that long ago that we lived in Hertfordshire and I commuted 60 miles every day to work.  J and Harriet would often take me there and pick me up (to escape the awful neighbours) and they were doing 120 miles a day in a car.  I now live 1.5 miles away from work, we have no car and Harriet is now extremely car sick whenever we have to take one.

It was a gamble taking a taxi to Kennedy airport but we had so much luggage there was no choice.  The driver drove extremely slowly and carefully (a car service obviously not a maniac yellow taxi) but still she started to go just as we arrived at the terminal.  Check-in was smooth but then trouble hit us when there was a 2 hour delay due to the fog in San Francisco.  It had happened to my parents the day before and from the captain's explanation when we got on the plane it was clear that this is a regular occurrence.

Harriet slept during the 2 hour delay and so was wide awake when we eventually took to the skies.  The Virgin America in-flight entertainment looked promising but in fact was useless.  It was working but then they announced that there were problems so they would reboot and half an hour later it came on with only the basic TV working.  So we had no cartoons for her either and she was not going to sleep.

After an age we finally landed in San Francisco.

We were there because my mother and father, Harriet's Gran and Grandad, were there.  They were to spend 4 days in San Francisco followed by 4 days in LA before coming to New York.  They will be here on my father's 65th birthday.

Harriet has been to San Francisco many times before.  We came last year en route to Yosemite and when she was only weeks old she and J would make the trip from Sacramento to change rental cars (a peculiar feature of the rental company was that it charged $100 per week or $700 per month so J had to keep renting for 3 weeks, returning the car and picking up another one).  He and I have been even more often; it was and is one of our favourite places in America.

We shivered when stepping out at SFO though.  60F is what you get if you're lucky so it was back to sweaters and hoodies.  Later in the stay it would improve but it was still far below the temperature to which we had so quickly become accustomed.

On our first full day we went to the Aquarium at pier 39.  My parents last saw Harriet in February and they had been to Central Park zoo with her, but I knew just how much of a difference they would see.  She is so much more engaged with the exhibits and fascinated by everything there.  She loved the touching pools and the chance to get up close to her favourites: the starfish.

Afterwards we stopped off at a little beach on the edge of Fisherman's Wharf and they got to see just how keen she is to be in the water and how indifferent she is to how cold it is.

The next day we met them and some of their friends from Falkirk (coincidentally here)  just after they had been on a tour in a Fire Engine (don't ask).  It was hot now by SF standards and Fisherman's Wharf being so busy we went up to Ghirardelli for an ice-cream.  Two of the visitors were my parents' (and my) next door neighbours, George and Morag, and they have always tried to see H when she is up in Scotland - it felt a little surreal seeing them in San Francisco.

The great thing is that Harriet put on a show.  You will no doubt see the pictures when J puts them up but it was lovely.  We were sitting by the fountain and one of the Scottish visitors foolishly gave Harriet some money to throw into the water.  She did and of course kept coming back for more and we were soon out of pennies.

Once the music started though that was it and she wanted to dance in the square with me, J, Gran, Grandad, George and Morag.  It was pure joy and really made the trip.

Sadly the next day I had to leave to go back to work.  Gran and Grandad left for LA but J and Harriet stayed a few more days in San Francisco.  They will all be arriving into Kennedy tomorrow for the next and most important leg of my parents' trip.  I picked up Pip from the kennels and from the staff's reactions I could tell that she was an extremely popular little dog.  She was sitting in the middle of the day-care room on a stool with another Westie when I arrive, quite content but happy to be off home even in the heat.

So all go - we're off in an RV to Florida in a few weeks followed by J & H traveling to South Carolina to Samara's mother's house.  Then my sister and brother-in-law are here and then J & H fly to Edinburgh for their tour of the US.  Alas no progress with the next surrogacy - we are having more trouble this time finding a surrogate but we are still looking and hoping.

The heat is going to hit my parents like a freight train but we won't be going far and they too will learn just how nice it is to be out on of the Hudson water parks.

Proud

The calamity is that I am writing this in the BA lounge at Kennedy. I'm back off to London again; it's less frequent than we thought might be necessary when we moved here but still a little too often and consequently we are missing New York Pride together as a family.

Still, I did get some of the day at least and saw a good bit of the march. I know I'm going to gush here so look away now if that is not what you want to hear.

I have been to lots of Prides in London and never been hugely taken with them. It's my problem, not London Pride but as a (fiscally) right-wing gay man with children I have never really felt part of the team.

New York was always going to be special because of the marriage vote. Cuomo got a hero's reception on 5th avenue and he deserves it. A GOP controlled senate approved civil rights for gays and it would never have happened without him. It was his day in the sun but there was plenty of heat and light for everyone.

Marching bands, floats, dancers; you can do it all here without needing irony. The sight of the NYPD band marching with rainbow flags and playing YMCA was a thing of pure beauty. Another of the bands gave us a bridal march and there were not a few people advertising to the world how long they had been together and naming the date for their civil marriage at last.

Old people, young people, muscle-bound jocks, flabby weaklings, bare-chested lesbians, dancing queens and many people who thought they were insignificant but rolled together into a giant ball of happiness.

And then there is my family. My husband and I have been together, officially since December 2001 (accuracy matters to us). It's not as long as the wonderful stories you read about people on the verge of marriage after sixty years, but still not bad. We are like most married couples I guess - bickering and disagreeing about most things is our forte. We are just like everyone else and like no one else. My thanks to Governor Cuomo for understanding this and making it understood.

The best bit of all was Harriet. She was wearing a fabulous outfit (J confessed how much it had cost because he thought even I couldn't fail to notice how beautiful and beautifully made it was). Better than designer clobber though was a two dollar pride flag that she waved all along fifth avenue.

Thank you Harriet, thank you J and thank you New York.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Modern Family

There are common threads that make up the patterns of our lives and it has been so rewarding to meet other gay families in New York. Sometimes it is just great to feel one of the crowd; part of the herd. With the lunacy out there, such as the Don't Say Gay bill, some days it's going to feel like an uphill struggle, with more steps backwards than forwards.

During times of fire and of chill, in times of clamour and silence we find a way, together.

But the best parts are those little moments that so often slip through the fingers. Tonight was an ordinary night and nothing special. But what really could be better than sitting on the sofa, watching America's Funniest Videos? Sometimes, it's just as simple as that.

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Memorial Day

It's quiet as I write this, so very quiet. Harriet is in the bath and she is absorbed in something so there is not even the familiar sloshing of water on the floor. We've had a couple of military fly-pasts today but there is not so much as a helicopter visible. There are neither police cars screaming nor youths shrieking.

Unusual. No complaints though.

It's been an all-go weekend. On Saturday morning we first travelled up to the midtown to see the navy ships that are here for fleet week. Then we walked down the river to our usual park on the pier. It's summer now so the fountains have all been turned on. Which is just as well because it's roasting. I mean really, really hot and little consolation though it is to the UK, it is a pain to have to apply all the sunscreen.

Harriet loves the water, obviously. She loves the sand (a delightful mess when the two meet) and she loves the slide. All of this takes place against the backdrop of the Hudson filled with passing cruise ships and yachts, watched over by the skyscrapers and the Statue of Liberty.

After a quick brunch in the Village (H spark out from all the fun) we returned home and took Pip out. Back to the Hudson but now on the grass of pier 45 with our picnic blanket and a few 'sodas'.

Harriet was not keen on the idea of sitting on a blanket and took herself off to meet and greet some of the other groups. One couple, Portuguese and Belgian, were soon dancing to her tune. Whatever you might have heard New York is an easy place to get chatting to people especially with a little girl who shouts 'I'm shy' over and over till she gets a response.

On Sunday we went to the larger park at pier 25 for the meet-up group. It was yet more fun in the water and a chance to meet another couple with a fifteen month old boy. Another quick brunch in the village (New York's best meal) and we were off to the Upper West Side.

Samara's mother's place is amazing. It has roof top access with unobstructed views of Central Park. They had set up a paddling pool for the kids but I definitely had to paddle to try to cool down just a little. Harriet had an amazing time with the other children and Pip was having the best time ever lounging around on the roof deck and hoovering up anything that fell from a plate.

The best part of the day came in the evening when the sun goes down and the city lights up. It's finally cool enough to relax and stop hunting the shade.

Monday has been a much quieter - a perfect end to a perfect holiday weekend.

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Good Times

Writing the Sarah blog is hard because it means admitting that it is over and it's also difficult working out where to start. So, let's keep it simple.

In the beginning was JFK again. I knew there would be trouble when I arrived and saw that a Pakistan Air flight that had arrived two hours earlier still had passengers coming through. Sure enough Sarah sent a text to say it would be some time before she would be out. So I amused myself in the bar, watching on the TV, as everyone did then, stories about the Royal Wedding.

Sarah eventually showed up and we caught the subway back to town. The A train runs quickly to W4 street and is nothing like the Piccadilly line in case you think I took leave of my senses.

The first few days I was at work but in the evenings I saw a common pattern emerge. They were shattered from walking so much, particularly in the nearby Hudson river park and also in Central Park.

"There are not so many fashions on display in New York as London" said Sarah.

I had to point out that she was saying this at 8.30pm while she and J were already in pyjamas. Perhaps, just perhaps, the hipsters go out past 9pm and didn't spend all day at the swings and sand-pit?

On Friday the Royal Wedding came and went. The enthusiasm for this was remarkable in the household and at work. Indeed a couple of weeks later a colleague and I were amazed that we had not spotted a trade earlier and concluded that it must have slipped through while she was glued to the wedding and I was pretending not to be glued.

Sarah went off to Connecticut to spend the weekend with relatives. Saturday was quiet for us but then on Sunday Matt and Bryan arrived in Penn station.

Matt eschewed my advice to take the subway and put his life in the hands of a New York taxi. We took the train to his hotel and half an hour later they showed up somewhat shaken. Despite the fact that he has known me for the scary total of 14 years or so Matt has not grasped that fundamental truth: I'm right, I'm always right (except when I'm not but that isn't important).

We had not met Bryan though so our first chance was lunch in an Italian in Little Italy. It was touristy but hey we were all newish to this town.

They called on our place that evening and after they left I checked twitter and the first news about bin Laden was filtering through. How many more major events would coincide with Sarah's visit?

Sarah was back on Monday and we all went out to Shade on Monday evening. Alas it wasn't possible to stay out too late because Harriet's days of going quietly to sleep are over.

The boys were only in town for a few days but we did get to have a farewell lunch at Katz's. We did not have the table where Harry met Sally but we did have a great lunch. Since Matt has now visited me in Edinburgh, London, New York and San Francisco I will definitely have to make the effort to see him on his home turf. Remember guys, you promised me the Twilight tour. Team Jacob of course.

The weekend was the big event for me because I was off work at last. On Friday we took the B train down to Brighton beach and walked along the boardwalk to Coney Island. After a quick bite to eat at the curiously named 'Paul's Daughter' we went to the New York Aquarium.

I noticed such a difference in the way Harriet looked at everything. She was so interested in it all. It meant that sometimes she would even be frightened such when the walrus swam towards us and touched the glass.

The walruses were the highlight for me. So enormous, yet so graceful. There were two of them swimming in circles like submarine super-tankers. There are amazing photos of Harriet, Sarah and I just standing agog by the glass.

The sea-lion show was great too - just long enough to hold Harriet's attention and full of feel-good humour. We finished with the Happy Feet show and returned exhausted to Manhattan.

The following day we had planned to go to the museum but the weather was too good so we decided to go to the zoo. It was a long subway ride to the Bronx but it was going to be an amazing day.

We began with the monorail that showed off the big Asian animals. The biggest pleasure was to see the male Siberian tiger stalking through his enclosure. Most of the time you just see big cats lying around in zoos so this was special. Harriet again was fascinated and happy to do the elephant sign and roar as we passed.

After the lions and the bears we found our way down to the main tiger exhibit. There was an ice cream cart outside and Sarah bought one. I was next in line and overhead the vendor say to a colleague "Man, that accent was hard." "British" agreed the woman. They then did their best impersonations of the Queen (or Hyacinth Bucket, I'm not sure).

My order passed off with incident, so complete is my grasp of the lingo.

At the monkey house we used J's iPhone to call Gran and Grandad before they left on holiday. That was a revelation because it was much better than I had expected.

Next up was the amazing fairground ride with all the bugs and last but no means least the gorillas. It had been another stunning day.

On the Sunday Sarah took the Circle Line tour. We went to Central Park for our meet-up group. It was such a hot day and we were going to have a picnic. We met some amazing people including a couple who had a 15 month son and had used the same agency as we had.

The highlight for Harriet was playing with Taylor, her six year friend. However beautiful the photos the reality was even more so - Harriet hero worshipped the older girls and they were so good to play so inclusively with her. Pure happiness is the sight of two little girls spinning in the sunshine of Central Park.

Alas that was my last day so I didn't get to go on the next big trip to the museum of natural history. So this time I just had the photos. The biggest impression was the show at the planetarium - Harriet talked about the show and the stars for days and days.

It was a holiday to remember, although it's probably good to take a little break now otherwise it would be sensory overload. Next up will be Lynsay and then Gran and Grandad will be back state-side. It's going to be a great summer.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Health and Safety

I have tried to write this blog a couple of times over the weekend but it always ends up as a bit of a political rant.  It's about healthcare - a touchy subject for both the UK and the US and one on which I could go on and on.

But that's not the really the point of this blog - here I just want to concentrate on the family's activities so I will restrict myself to that.  We visited the doctor on Good Friday having finally overcome the hurdles to getting insurance.

It sounds like a dull but necessary trip but was actually a really rewarding part of the day.  Our doctor's secretary let us know that the doctor likes to spend time getting to know his patients and so it proved to be.  He spent ages with Harriet and she was her usual adorable self.  A common trick she plays at the moment when we get into a subway car is to shout as loudly as she can "I'm shy!" but it is only really with a few people that she genuinely plays shy.  The doctor is a man and therefore gets her full attention straight away.

We know that she is happy and healthy but it is so rewarding to have that validated by a professional.  He took lots of measurements and while it confirmed what we knew it still felt good to have it from him: she is in the 90th percentile for height and 80th percentile for weight.  She chatted away to him and although he did detect 'an English accent' he seemed to be very pleased with her.

Then of course it came to us.  J at last gets some more painkillers pending an operation on his other arm and I was told that I was in good shape with the observation that I have a slow heart rate.  Nothing to worry about just 'interesting' apparently.This hopefully just reflects the amount of work I have done at the gym (yes Cathy, the gym, I do go!).

J does a great job with Harriet so there was no doubt in our minds but still, nice to have it certified by someone who should know,

Far Far Away

Our original plans to get out the city were scuppered by the scandalous cost of hiring a car. So instead we got together two dollars and twenty five cents each and hopped on the subway, the A train to be precise.

The prosaic names for lines and stations in New York are a small price to pay for a cheap and quick way of getting about. The A's an express and rattles through Brooklyn and Queens pretty quickly, I mean I have taken the Jubilee line and the DLR so to me it is practically supersonic.

We were headed to Rockaway Beach. Our first stop was the dog park. Pip had travelled in her box so you can imagine how she reacted to being let off the leash in a grassy park. Yes, she had a two minute sniff and sat down next to me.

The strangest thing is that dogs who would most enjoy New York are Scamper and Billy. Pip is so aloof and doesn't actually think she's a dog but Billy would love to race about and Scamper would love to supervise the run. We know they're very happy of course but sometimes it would be nice to have a dog again.

We cut through some housing estates down to the beach. Harriet had a play in the play-park and then we walked along the boardwalk. The wind was extreme.

It was a day not to play in the sand but to admire the violent, crashing waves from a safe distance. In the UK this would be massively over-developed but here there was virtually nothing.

It's the strangest place because it's so familiar, just not from New York, more like some small town in which we've stopped for gas. I know that must sound incredibly patronising if you're from there but hey I'm a foreigner, I don't know any better.

Our dining options were limited with a dog so it was a great joy to find a Wendy's with a few picnic tables out back. We were famished and could enjoy our modest triple-deckers while gazing across the water at Manhattan. We had got out of the city but it was still reassuring to see it so close and soon enough the A was whisking us back home.

Great day.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Over the hill?

We play this game every year, from March to April, in which my husband pretends to be a year younger than me. Still, whether he likes it or not, time waits for no man and he soon catches up. He's just jealous because he knows that my grey is more distinguished than his!

The irony is not lost on me that next year is the year I originally said I would like to have children. It is good to make plans but good to have a plan B, C and the rest!

It looks like a beautiful day in New York and I'm sure we'll have a good day. Honestly, it will probably be like most other Saturdays and centred around Harriet but check out the little details: we'll swap the cheap plonk for some champagne, perhaps even some of the real stuff. But what could be better than that?

Happy Birthday and welcome to the club J! But don't worry I'll still be leaving it before you next year (to get the next one ready for you in April) xxx

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Herding Cats

Now, I am not one to moan (watch it) but when I got to JFK two hours before my flight left and the check-in clerk told me that it was delayed by three hours I was furious.  This was due to the weather - i.e. it was raining in New York.  London, be not ashamed, what a few inches of snow is to you, a few inches of rain is to New York.

I really am not too pleased to be back here.  As I mentioned in my last blog the world is carrying on just fine without me and I fear I am starting to look needy.  Still, I need to be here for some reason and tomorrow we can start in earnest.

It's a new phase in my job.  Previously I could rely on what I was doing or at most what my colleagues were doing but now I find myself responsible for a massive project that seethes and bubbles, always on the boil, always just ready to burn.  I am having to learn to accept professional help in managing timelines (milestones they are called, surely with the knowledge that this is close to millstone).  My project manager refers to our meetings with the wider audience as 'herding cats' and I have to salute her for so precisely capturing the spirit of the thing.  You know when on Grand Designs people say they will project manage the build themselves to save money and crumble at all the problems they confront - well this is just like that only I have a project manager, three if I'm honest, and we are still up against it.

Hence I am back in London for the much needed face-to-face time.  On the postive side I will be in New York next week doing exactly the same thing and would have had to fly out had I been based in London.

Glamorous, travel isn't.  Seriously, five hours in JFK looking for something to do is awful.  Yes we have all done it and worse but usually with a holiday either behind us or in front of us.  This is just painful and however fancy the business class you can rest assured that you will still be bored to tears and are even more likely to be stuck in a lounge next to some truly dreadful donkeys braying about how important they are.

As I say, I'm not one to moan.  So let me tell you what is wonderful.  Our little girl is now truly flying with complex sentences.  She understands the world around her, she knows what is, and what she would like it to be.  She understands how to make what is become what she would like it to be via commands.  "Let's go to the park, yes? " .  Poor J is on the receiving end of these instructions especially this week when I am away.

Still he is not one to moan.  Genuinely.  Two hours of it on a Saturday morning and I'm looking for the tranquilizer shot - whether for her or for me I don't know.  There is a huge privilege in seeing her develop and I'm sure he wouldn't change it for the world.  He is herding cats too but the difference is that people only see the cute photographs, just not how unherdable the cats actually are.

Good night home, I love you all very much x.

New York Birthday

My parents had arrived all ready for snow but snow there was none. Seriously, there was a time when Pip and I were climbing over several feet of snow while diggers loaded it up into containers.

Still, they did get to experience the cold and the epic wind chill factor. A few days were wet and cloudy but a few more were piercingly bright. Sadly, they left on Thursday after a week that passed all too quickly.

I know that they had a great time but more than that I know Harriet had a wonderful time. Whether it was the rides at Chuck E Cheese, the slide in Central Park or just doing ring-a-ring-a-roses in the apartment didn't matter; she was so happy. It was such a good way to make up for Christmas when Harriet was ill and also had to be passed around lots of different people.

Typically, however, two days after they left the weather changed. Today was my birthday and we thought we would risk a walk down to the Hudson if the wind wasn't too bad.

When we got there the problem wasn't the wind but the heat. Off came our winter jackets and in t-shirts we struck out into the pier.

One of my favourite views in New York was along 23rd street as I exit the subway station at 6th avenue and walk to work. I love it not because it is a beautiful street (not a big fan of discount electrical retailers, fast food and parking lots) but because it seems to stretch on forever. It presumably hits the East River but I prefer to imagine it heading out across the Atlantic with the next land point being Tilbury Docks, all jellied eels and rhyming slang.

But I've changed my mind. I'll keep 23rd street as a special place but that pier on the Hudson in the warm sun is something else. It takes two or three minutes to get there from our building's front door and as you reach its end you cannot take your eyes off the harbour. The towers of Battery Park stand on one side, the towers of Jersey glinting on the other and Lady Liberty floats in the middle.

Turn your back on this sight if you can or if you have to because Harriet is off, and you will see a great view of the Empire State Building as consolation.

Pip, J, Harriet and I headed off down the river path to the play-park. It was mobbed - full of joggers, cyclists, dog walkers and assorted nutters. But actually the park was too busy and Harriet was tired from walking so we circled back and dropped Pippin off home.

We had lunch in a little bar on West Third. We had great sandwiches followed by divine crepes (thumbs up from Harriet too). Best of all was a lovely Riesling that was sweet but not too sweet.

Feeling stuffed we walked uptown to Union Square to Harriet's favourite park. It was crazily busy but Harriet still had a great time in the sand pit - a lovely person shared her bucket and spade with her.

She is growing so quickly and mastering complex sentences. For poor J this means receiving orders: 'Let's go to the park, yes? Let's get my coat'. For me though it is just the good stuff like today.

Of course it's sad in a way that we are all getting older. She's not the baby she once was and I am, well let's move swiftly on there is nothing to see. But when you are as privileged as we are it is not the count of the days but how you spend them. It's been a perfect week with Gran and Grandad and a perfect birthday.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Back in Blighty

I got yet another meeting invite and clicked accept. It came from the Head of Risk's secretary so you don't ignore. For some reason I read it and my heart sank - it was a management on-site in London. Now I am not really a fan of these sessions anyway - lots of blue sky thinking outside the box etc - but this was scheduled for during my parents' trip to New York.

Before you say it, I know they are not coming to see me but it is Harriet's birthday week and I want to be there too.

Salvation came when something I'm working on got a new project manager. She wanted everyone to block out their diaries and work on this solidly to address issues we have been going round the houses on for months. Everyone is in Singapore or London except yours truly so I was asked to come to London. Yes I said if I can get out of the on-site.

Deal.

So here I am. This was always a risk when we moved to New York. I can manage the odd 5am call to Asia but sometimes there is just no substitute for meeting people outside a structured setting.

I said I was going to take the subway to Kennedy Airport (only outsiders call it JFK) until I started out dragging my bag behind me. Waiting outside our building there are always cabs and my resolve cracked immediately and I jumped in one.

The cab driver explained his concerns about getting there in time and back to his depot. So he drove like a madman - not quite as terrible as our last experience in San Francisco but not far off. In and out of lanes we weaved for each little bit of perceived advantage.

Still we made it well within his designated time. I checked in and crashed in the lounge. The plane leaves at 7pm and gets in at 7am - thanks to the five hour time difference that's not as long as it sounds. I needed to sleep in order to survive the next day. So for once the business class was really justified but it's still not a lot of time in the air to be asleep. The uber disciplined frequent flyer might sleep as soon as the plane's in the air but I still wanted my dinner!

The attendant woke me just before breakfast. I had slept so it was ok.

It was a long day but actually having something to do helps. Word got around that I was back and my calendar was back to back.

You want to catch up? Really? Like really, I've only been gone a month!

I have been trying to wind up my colleagues by using American terms (using Math drives them up the wall) but it hasn't been that long. Still my old desk has gone and I am using an office of someone who is in New York this week.

I have only been gone a month but it seems that's all it takes. My team is happily working away and they even went for lunch without asking me!

It seems that they've moved on. I didn't expect the place to fall down or for them to be weeping with joy at my return but I could tell that it was different. Well alright, it would have been nice if they had collapsed in a grateful heap even if they didn't mean it. Someone even talked to me on our instant messaging system even though I was sitting 5 meters away!

So London feels different in some ways but then in other ways it seems things have not changed. I met Martin on Monday and we followed the same routine just as we always did: drink in a bar and then pizza. We talked about the usual things (especially my delight in our political affiliations now being in coalition although Martin seems less keen on the 'Dems these days).

This evening is a bit quieter but at least I can discharge my most important duties. Six boxes of Brooke Bond choicest blend - check!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Settling In

Our sea shipment arrived on Monday - Martin Luther King Day so I had it off.  Still, I had to go in for a bit to try to clear some of the backlog but I got home at lunchtime just as the last boxes were being emptied.  It was a bomb-site and amusing to see some of the stuff the packers had brough, including the recycling.  Several plastic bottles and carboard travelled from Leytonstone, East London to the West Village, New York, to be recycled. 

J worked non stop until it was all unpacked and sorted out.  Pippin and I just tried to stay out of the way. 

It is complete now and gradually the few pieces we were missing have arrived, including an enormous television on Friday.  Harriet's room is packed full of her toys and I think she was genuinely pleased to see some old friends again.

On Saturday we took the train to the Upper West Side.  Keen followers of my Facebook feed will know how disgusted I was to have to buy a bag for Pippin.  Those it seems are the rules: dogs must be in carry cases to travel on the subway so in she went.  It was cold, very cold but still bearable and we had an enjoyable walk through more of the park.  We took the train home, dropped off Pippin and went for dinner in Applebees at Time Square. 

It really hit home how grown up she is when she ate her macaroni and cheese from the kids' menu with her own spoon.  It wasn't a faultless performance by any means but still an amazing sight considering our first week here when she struggled to adapt to the new diet and lack of her favourite foods.

Sunday has been cold - very, very cold.  The forecast put the high today at -5 and tomorrow it will be even worse at -8.  We ventured no further than Washington Square park to try out the dog run for Pippin.  Sadly, she was not in the mood to socialise, with other dogs at least, and she refused to join in the fun.  They have two dogs runs - one for the small dogs and one for the big ones.  The other Westie was in the big dog run so perhaps Pip felt ashamed to be stuck with the toy dogs but more likely she is just not a dog dog.  It was one of the times I really missed Billy because the big dogs were having a whale of a time running about.

Big week again this week - Wednesday in particular.  For the moment I will just enjoy the furnished apartment.

The First Week

It was a first day like many first days.  I was carrying stacks of paperwork along with all my valuable documents and proof of identity. 

It began with a drugs test.  I would find this odd in the UK but somehow it seems normal here.  It is carried out with the humourless efficiency that the US does so well.  Once I had provided an adequate sample and the paperwork was completed my automaton escort suddenly became human again and was chatting away about the weather.  Americans talk about the weather a lot - in the subsequent orientation session it was the default icebreaker and the correct response whenever the other person let slip from where they hailed.  All you had to do was choose: "Oh you must be used to snow much worse than this (Minnesota etc)" or "How lovely it must be for you to experience seasons (San Diego etc)".

The frustrating thing was that I was not actually starting a new job of course.  When the session finished and I took the elevator up to the risk management floor I logged on remotely to my London computer.  All the problems I had before I still had, just with the novelty of my clock telling me it was 8pm.

The next day we were scheduled to go out with our real estate agent.   She began by showing us an enormous two bed-room apartment.  This was much larger than I had expected that we could afford but came with the catch that it lacked natural light and was on 23rd street - on the main cross streets in NY (i.e. extremely noisy).  The next place was in a coverted hotel on Madison Square Park just opposite my work.  This was beautifully presented with top spec furnings but of course much smaller.

Then we set off downtown towards Greenwich Village.  This was an area we had indicated we would be interested in.  It is mainly residential so there should be more life around than other parts of Manhattan and it is charming.  It has no grid system so is trickier to navigate with plenty of parks, including Washington Square Park in the centre.  There should be more for J and H to do during the day than the area outside my office but it is hardly far from it.

The trouble with the Village is that most of the buildings are old and we did not want to deal with steps.  However, our agent found one elevator building on Christopher Street.  It was lovely, really lovely and being one of the tallest buildings around had fantastic views both south and north.  The problem was that it was far too small.

So off we set again.  The next and final stop was a building over to the west with excellent views of the Hudson.  It's in the 'Roman Utilitarian' style - the Roman bit meaning it has arches and the Utilitarian bit referring to its simple orange/red brick exterior and original purpose first as a waterfront warehouse and then as a federal archive building.  The entrance hall looks like a very grand hotel but I was not much interested because it was described as one bedroom and was above our budget.

It turned out that it was a duplex apartment and while only technically one bedroom it had a loft area with its own bathroom and acres of storage.  The agent had almost not shown it to us because many people with children will not consider apartments with stairs but we are used to it of course.  We would need to retain our stair-gates but apart from that it was perfect.  Harriet could have the downstairs bedroom and we would take the upstairs.  It lacks the city-scape views of the previous place but it has stunning views of the Hudson.  There are only two windows but there is no lack of light with such enormous double height windows.

We looked at some other places on-line that the agent sent but it was clear we had made our decision and so we put our names forward for it.  There was a lot more scanning of documents and paperwork but we got the approval on Thursday so we are set for next week.  Our air shipment has arrived - fingers crossed that our sea shipment comes quickly otherwise we shall be sleeping on the floor!
 

Resolutions

Sometimes it is better to have an experience second hand.  I follow Graham Linehan on Twitter and a particular favourite is when he retweets something by Jedward.  Yesterday he prefaced the tweet with 'Gaze on their works, ye Mighty and despair'.  It's perfect because it combines X-Factor with Shelley; just the sort of culture clash I like.

It never seems wise to say what one will do over the coming year because we are all at the mercy of events.  If I restrict myself to things that are directly within my control then I plan to read more this year.  Commuting from Essex on the Central line was hellish but at least it gave me a chance to read.  Once we had moved to London and my commute dropped to half an hour door to door I didn't look at a book again.  I didn't even read the Metro because we were so often behind on TV series thanks to Virgin+ that I couldn't run the risk of reading something that gave the game away.  So I played games on the iPhone or otherwise looked idylly out of the window as the DLR toy train trundled its way through East London.

I need of course to restart the gym.  It was becoming fairly successful towards the end of last year.  I decided there was nothing for it but to start doing a lot of cardio.  It is absolute tedium.  Perhaps I can get some audio books and combine the two goals?  Or is an audio book little better than seeing the film - shall I miss too much?  Anyway, I need to redouble my efforts in the gym because after all I am now living in a country not known for its restraint in portion sizes.  To date I have been enjoying the Buffalo wings but that will have to stop, at least in the quantity.

I resolve to maintain old friendships.  I wasn't able to see everyone before I left but of course I will be back and I am expecting some people to make the trip over pretty quickly (note to Sarah - as soon as the X-Factor US dates are announced I expect you to organise your sabatical sharpish and by the way I have already found a shop dedicated to selling macaroons).  We have already been able to have a few Skype conversations and Harriet seems to be getting a bit more used to it. 

Some people will need to be replaced.  Not real people I know but famous people whose work I consume.  There were two excellent articles in this Sunday's Observer by Victoria Coren (on Elton and David's baby) and David Mitchell.  Alas, there will only be so long we can follow a lot of the British twitterati because they inevitably talk about TV that we can't get.  Somehow we need to find their US equivalents and soon.

To our global network of family and friends: a Happy and Healthy 2011.  If I'm not up to date with the Booker long-list, US reality TV and finally wearing my Abercrombie & Fitch shirt you can sue me.  Hopefully our family will have grown again and we will have nothing you can claim in court except our best wishes for 2012.